Life

Why I stopped reading self-help books…

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No matter how many self-help and motivation books I read if things do not move as planned the feeling of despair creeps in.

But if we look at it closely things rarely move as per plan for anyone, it’s either good or bad based on our perception of the situation.  

In the end, nothing is as good as it seems or as bad as it seems. And the feeling of despair will go away as the new day comes.

So whenever the feeling comes in I remember this quote from Gita:

Whatever happened, happened for the good. Whatever is happening, is happening for the good. Whatever will happen, will also happen for the good.

– Bhagavad Gita

Winning the game with singles…

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In cricket there are 2 teams of 11 member each.

A team bats first and makes runs. Then the second team bats and have to make 1 run more than the first team to win the match.

If you have played cricket or watched it, you will know that the team can almost invariably win the match by pacing the runs made, being smart, and keeping the wickets instead of going at a berserk run making rate.

Pacing the “run-making” steadily gives a much higher certainty to win the game. But even at international levels, this does not happen, in fact, there is always so much pressure to make runs and win it faster.

Why? why not be smart take singles or twos and win the game rather than fall short of the targets and lose?

Maybe it’s our ego urging us to be a hero – Finish is fast, finish it mega! finish it with fours and sixes.

But at the end if its about winning game, so slow and steady has much better chance of winning.

Life is similar to that if we want to be fairly certain to succeed (Whatever our long-term goal is..). Being steady, pacing our innings gives us the best chance to win.

So let’s not burn ourselves in heroism, lets not go by what others have done to achieve, they might have got lucky or might have been trying the same for a much longer period of time, we never know.

Slow and steady still wins the race even in this digital era 🙂

What to do in a difficult life situation?

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Let’s accept the fact that everyone faces difficult situations in life, and believe me, one that is more successful faces it more frequently.

Also, instead of denial, let’s acknowledge the fact that we are facing a difficult situation, that’s the first step towards finding any resolution or moving forward.

Here are a few thoughts on how we can figure out the current situation and try to resolve it:

  • Look into our pasts: If we have handled a similar kind of situation earlier? Dig within the self, understand within and the situation, that gives the perspective to move forward.
  • From other people (s) (Or their history):
    • People who have already faced these issues, talk to them, learn from them, inspire, and read about them. Take their help to resolve it.
    • Take help from family or friends, who are closer. Any friend who listens to you…understands you. This is one of the reasons to have good friends in life.
  • Compare yourself with others: Again everyone faces problems in life, but some are not even fortunate enough to be in the place where we are today. Think about them, how are they coping & happy, and take inspiration from them.
  • Moral values: Do you follow moral values? (Might be part of religion), if yes dig into it and find what does the moral values suggest, be truthful to it, and resolve it.
  • Leave it to Fate, God, or Kismet: Yes sometimes doing nothing, acknowledging and letting it be, is the best solution (Old Hindi quote “जो होता है अच्छे के लिए होता है” Meaning “Whatever happens happens for good”).

In the end, it’s more important to be happy 🙂 and keep feeling better about ourselves. Any situation we are in is part of learnings to move forward…

The wrong answer…

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Why do we always get mind-stuck being wrong or reaching a wrong answer? Whereas the wrong answer is our best friend.

Factually we know that there will be more wrong than the right answers as we try things. Let’s say 80% wrong answers and 20% with the right answers. This fact only implies that we should keep trying more and more.

And the wrong answers lead us to more right answers future on…so our chances increase as we do try.

In the end, it’s the number of attempts that makes all the difference, the more we try the more chances of success.

But we fear trying in case it leads to wrong answers…whereas a person who has succeeded or been right has simply tried more number of times.

So lets not worry about getting wrong…and keep trying…

Ordinary hours…

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There are many more ordinary hours in life than extraordinary ones.

Happiness means finding a moment of joy in those ordinary hours.

Instead of waiting for it to happen in rare moments of extraordinary hours.

The Sleep Miracle…Don’t miss it.

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A Doctor tells you about this miracle pill, if you take this pill regularly, it:

  • Reduces your chances of having cancer like breast cancer or heart diseases drastically.
  • Boosts your memory and increases your productivity many folds.
  • Boosts your immunity and helps fight & recuperate from all diseases much faster.
  • Reduces your chances of Alzheimer’s and other stress-related diseases drastically.
  • Keeps your fat in control and helps reduce weight faster.
  • Moreover, you will be much happier on a day to day basis without stress and anxiety.

We all would have grabbed the pill with both hands even if it costs a bomb.

The Pill is: Daily dose of 8-9 hours of good sleep at night.

Now don’t roll your eyes, I know sleep is the last thing in our mind, we are running so fast, that sleep looks like a waste of time.

But there is numerous scientific evidence that both good quality and quantity of sleep leads to a much happier, healthy, and successful life. For further read please refer – Why we sleep book here.

I was always a firm believer in sleep, so much so that I take short naps very frequently apart from the night dose (I wrote this blog sometime back on it). Before understanding sleep benefits I use to feel guilty about these naps or completing my quota of sleep whereas my peers use to get away with just 6 hours of sleep.

But now I can say sleep is one of the most critical requirements of our body. Sleep conditions our body for best productivity and long & healthy life. Understand the symptoms and crohn’s diease

So let’s take our sleep seriously and ensure that we have a daily quota of at least 8 hours of sleep.

Here are the few quick tips for sleeping better:

  1. Stick to a sleep schedule. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. We in general have a wake-up plan – Alarm clocks, Wakeup calls, etc but start having a go-to bed plan as well on a daily basis.
  2. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, or alcohol before sleep. Contrary to the belief that alcohol helps in sleep, its other way around it just brings drowsiness but sleep or rather deep sleep is not possible with it.
  3. Avoid large meals late at night. I presume you would have felt this yourself, having large meals late night leads to an increase in metabolism for digestion and hence should be avoided.
  4. Relax before going to bed. Don’t overschedule your day so that no time is left for unwinding. A relaxing activity, such as reading or listening to music, should be part of the bedtime ritual.
  5. Take a hot bath before bed. When we sleep our body temperature should drop, a hot bath opens body pores and allows the body to cool down. You can try it but again depending on the climate and location etc.
  6. Dark & cool (Not cold) bedroom, this suits the body and helps get sleep faster.
  7. Gadget free – No TV, mobiles & laptop. We all know the story of melatonin- sleep hormone and the negative impact of gadgets and screens against it. Avoid any devices at least one hour before bedtime.
  8. Don’t lie in bed awake. If you find yourself awake after staying in bed for more than twenty minutes or feeling anxious or worried, get up, and do some relaxing activity until you feel sleepy.

So go ahead enjoy your daily pill of sleep and be healty & wealthy in life.

Being Compassionate…

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handshake of the generations

It’s natural to believe that everyone else is as confident, assured, and generous as you are on your very best day.

But that’s unlikely. Because everyone else is probably not having their best day at the same time.

Once we realize that the world around us is filled with people who are each wrestling with what we’re wrestling with (and more), compassion is a lot easier to find.

Happiness…

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The happiness of those who want to be popular depends on others;

The happiness of those who seek pleasure fluctuates with moods outside their control;

But the happiness of the wise grows out of their own free acts.

-Marcus Aurelius